You know things are approaching a bubble when you start seeing and hearing bitcoin, blockchain and cryptocurrency jokes and cartoons. So in that spirit, enjoy this collection of best bitcoin jokes and blockchain humor.
A Bitcoin, an Ethereum and a Monero walk into a bar… 😉
A millennial walks into an Irish bar.
“Say, bartender “Do you accept Bitcoins?”
Bartender: “I’ve never seen any – but that doesn’t mean they don’t exist.”
A millennial walks into a British pub.
“I say, barkeeper, do you accept Bitcoins?”
Bartender: “I’ve never met any mate but they’re welcome here if they don’t cause any trouble.”
A bitcoin walks into a bar…
A bitcoin walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bird is wearing a baseball cap. The bartender says, “Hey, that’s neat. Where did you get that?” The parrot replies, “An ICO-they’ve got millions of them there.”
A crowded bar
Two nuns, a penguin, a man with a parrot on his shoulder, a giraffe and a bitcoin walk into a bar. The bartender says, “What is this? Some kind of joke?”
John and Mary went to a neighborhood bar.
They had some drinks, a few laughs, and finally were ready to leave. Mary pulls out her purse, but John says, “No I’ll pay.” He says to the bartender, “Do you accept Bitcoins?” “What the hell’s that?” “It’s a crypto-currency that you can mine and it creates 256 bit encryption keys, decentralized and it has no fees.” The bartender and Mary give John a weird look. John says “Look, want to see my GPU?” He reaches into his coat pocket to pull out his spare Radeon HD 5770. The bartender blinks. Mary says “OK, I’ll pay” and hands the bartender two twenties.
Can I give you a ride home?
A young Metro is having a few drinks with a nerdy girl in a bar and talking about bitcoins. He realizes she’s had a couple of Mai Tais too many.
Him: “Can I give you a ride home?”
Her: “Ssssure.”
Him: “What’s your address?”
Her: 1FSDIJFKJFDSKJFDSFDSLKJFDSLKJFDSLKJDSLKFDSLKJFDSKJFDSKJFDS
How many bitcoins does it take?
How many bitcoin miners does it take to change a light bulb?
A million – one to do it and the rest to verify he did it.
Knock, knock
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Satoshi.
Satoshi who?
Knock, knock.
Why you need to start using bitcoin.
Michael McConnell has very funny stand up bit on bitcoin.
What’s the difference between Bitcoin and NASA?
Bitcoin’s actually going to the moon.
A boy speaking to his bitcoin-investing father:
Boy: Dad, can I have $10 for my allowance?
Father: What do you need $.0016939061 for son?
A boy speaking to his bitcoin-investing father:
Boy: Dad, what did you think of the Patriots-Seahawks game last night?
Father: Well, here’s my $0.00003387922 worth…
Why did the bitcoin cross the road? Because there was a fork up ahead.
How many Core devs does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one but the rest have to agree that the old lightbulb is broken, and then they have to agree on what type and brand of lightbulb to replace it with, and then they have to go to Scaling Lightbulbs in New York only to fail to agree on exactly when and how the new lightbulb should be changed and by whom.
Famous Bitcoin Quotes
Jean-Jacques Rousseau Jr: “Man is born free and everywhere he is in blockchains.”
Patrick Henry II: “Give me liberty, or give me bitcoins!”
John Kennedy Esq: “Ask not what your country can do for you — ask what you can do for your cryptocurrency.”
Bill Shakespeare: “All that glitters is not bitcoin gold.”
Bill Shakespeare on $10K bitcoin: “To bitcoin, or not to bitcoin: that is the question.”
Bitcoin Research
A new study shows more people would use Bitcoin if they actually knew what it was.
Newest ICO
Founder and CEO of the new Trojan Coin (TROJ): “We’re working on a new digital wallet called the Trojan. The Trojan digital wallet is designed to securely hold your bitcoins and other cryptocurrencies; your Twitter, Snapchat and Facebook passwords; your Venmo and PayPal account info; and a condom in case you’re planning to get lucky. The TROJ coin can be used at more than 2 million bars and pubs across the country. Our target market is the 20.4 million students attending US universities. Our pre-sale starts tomorrow and you can read our white paper on our website.”
Bitcoins Stolen
896 Bitcoins equaling $600k was stolen by hackers. Victims turn to religion to help get them thru embarrassing faith in make-believe things.
Bitcoin Creator
Newsweek says Satoshi Nakamoto was the creator of Bitcoin. Other sources tried to find him but had been searching for a ‘Samuel Bitcoin.’
Enjoy your day, keep an eye on the markets and retain your sense of humor at all costs.
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